run bike swim beat cancer

Coming up to my last treatments, I should be feeling excited, relieved, happy, overjoyed !!? but it doesn’t feel like that at all.

The Maggies centre does a course called ‘What Next ?’, because it actually feels a bit like falling off a cliff.

People quite often ask me if I’ve had the all clear – but you don’t get an all clear, you don’t get anything, you just finish your treatments and cheerio. There is no check that the chemo and all the other treatments have worked – its just assumed that they have. You don’t have any scans, you don’t have ultrasounds, your treatments just…..end.

So you don’t have any real peace of mind, because you don’t actually know if the treatments have worked, you don’t know if you are cancer free.

And, after last time – thinking that the treatments HAD worked, and that I WAS ‘all clear’, I can honestly say now, that I don’t know. It’s quite a lonely feeling. I guess that’s why Maggies do their ‘What Next ?’ sessions.

BUT – I do know that you can’t live a happy life if you worry about the cancer coming back – you HAVE to assume that it will be fine. And I am quite good at that – I know that I feel good, and I feel healthy. Hey, nobody knows what life has in store for them !!! Sometimes I feel lucky !! I’ve been able to come through this twice. And as far as I know all is good – lets stick with that thought :-))) ALL..IS..GOOD :-)))) there…..I talked myself into it :-)))

I was looking for some ‘No Point Worrying / Don’t Worry’ motivational pictures and slogans to add in here but they are all really naff !! lol

So……looking forward to finishing the treatments !!! YESSSSSS !!!!!